Playing catch up!

So I now must admit to you my readers and friends if there are any of you left out there. I have been in a winter blues depression. I have tried everything and even tried to remind myself I am not at all depressed. I have overhauled the apartment every time I am home just to make myself feel accomplished. I have quit smoking. I have gone to the doctor for regular check-ups. I have been taking my vitamins and doing what I need to do or so I thought. I have missed my medications a few times (because honestly people I am clinically depressed... there I said it the cat is out of the bag). I keep thinking well I am doing things I am going out and not hiding in my home. I have been productive I have gotten my bills in order and done a whole bunch of responsible parent things. But where is the fault in all of this. Well here it is the truth.
I have been lazy about going to school and have missed far more time then I care to admit. Yes first Quin was sick, then Cas was sick, then I was sick but did I need to stay home all those days no probably not. First there was winter break which made me not want to go in and made us all have 4 day weekends. Then I extended it one day, then I decided well I don't need to go in this Friday or that Monday and sadly I have missed far more school then i care to admit. I keep saying oh I will make it up Saturday because we can do that, then Saturday comes do you think I go no I don't I go shopping I go to bring Cas to dance and run errands. I use excuses. Steve is working so I have no sitter then Steve is off so I don't want to go while he is home because I am already in school on Thursday's when he is home and don't see him very often. I then make up every excuse I can in the book. This weekend Steve was home and come to find out from now on Steve will be home every Saturday so I can make up time whenever I want but will I no. The saddest part of it is Steve sleeps the whole entire time I am in school anyway so what would be the difference. So this week I am vowing to go to school daily yes all 5 days because there is 5 days of school this week, and I would like to possibly consider going in this Saturday but one moment at a time I don't want to jump to far ahead of myself.
I am glad I was able to come clean about my hiding. I have even hidden from the blog world. Since I started school I have been busy but I have been on the computer since I am sadly never to busy for that and before I was unable to find time or topics to write about but I always found time to keep up with my friends. now I don't even seem to be doing that. So now I vow to start again I quit smoking and am doing it so now I vow to go to school no excuses, I also vow to start thinking of things to write on my blog because I enjoy the release. although I must admit I am saddened I don't have many followers but I also know I would not follow someone who never writes or offers much advice. OK that is that it is what has been going on with me and it is my catch up and I guess confession all rolled into one.