Letting it all show!

I keep reading these amazing blogs saying why can't I be as funny. Why can't I be as good, why why why. There are creative blogs. There are organized blogs. There are just plain funny or all out balls to the walls type of blogs. I am not one of those and I am OK with that. I am here to write because I enjoy it. I like to blog.

Now in real life I do not tell anyone I know that I blog or that I have friends on the internet that I have never met before. Do you know the looks you get when you say you have friends in other states, you know because of the internet. Most of my friends just dont understand, they dont get that I have friends that I speak to that know all about me. That I can spill my guts to and not have to worry about them jdging me, and you know what even if they do I dont care because they are not judging me to my face.

I have friends that I can tell everything to in real life but I love them and I know there quirks and most of them judge. It is just the way it is.
~Sometimes they make comments like damn girl you analyze everything calm down, and then I sit and analyze that. Damn she was right.
~Other times it is.. oh wow you got back on your meds. I can tell. Oh man how bad was I without them. Was I that bad. Am I that good now, or maybe I am more insane who knows.
~Or the best, you are just so skinny you twig, toothpick, Olive Oyl, amongst other nicknames (but most of that was when I was younger).
~Now it is wow girl you got big, because you know when I was a size 0 I was a twig and now at a size 5 I am big. I knwo they dont mean I am big because they tell me how awesome I look as well but they joke because now the skinny twig has a tiny muffin top and a butt. A big old round plump butt and it looks damn good so eat your hearts out.
~I have gotten the wow you are acting quite (ghetto for better lack of words), when I started school because sadly I got back to my Queens New York roots and had my NYC twang, accent whatever you want to call it. My mouth got big and I got attitude. I was around young girls and I had to go old school to show them no I am not some meek size 0 twig who is going to sit here and take your crap.
~Now I get the why did you go for school if you are not going to do anything with it. Umm my decision my life and yes I will do something when it is my time.
I get judged for being a stay at home Mom, for having a messy house, for having a clean house, for having two dogs, and a cat and a hamster and a two bedroom tiny cramped apartment with all of that in it.
Now I am in no way complaining about my friends because I love them all but some things I just dont want to be judged on. I know they mean it with love but they are still judging and I dont want that. if I want to be on trial I will do something bad to need a lawyer and a court hearing with a trial, not when it is my daily life.

So here I am letting it all out, showing my ass as some would say. I keep reading blogs and the girls do it and I love them for it and I decided I too am going to do it. When you judge me I wont care because you wont be in my face, or maybe you will but I still dont care because I am who I am and that's all that I am. Maybe you will write nasty comments, maybe you will follow me. Maybe just maybe you will run far away and say damn why did I ever talk to that girl. Well fi that is the case. Sorry nice knowing you and I never judged you. I am not God nor am I religious (sorry had to say it) but I do not judge. I have morals and faith and a love for a power greater then thy self. I send my kids to catholic school and I say every weekend how I want to go to church and when I go I love it but I dont go often. My daughter begs to go and I pray that one day I can move to a place where there are tons of churches and where we can find a family of our own. A family in faith and morals. I may have the same beliefs I may not but I do pray they just dont judge. I am not going to judge you I will laugh with you, cry with you and let you know how I feel about the situation because that is me. Maybe ghetto maybe nasty maybe blunt just me. Hope you like it. Take it or leave it.